The Queer Eye guys are dominating bookstores this year, Almost all of them have come out with books in 2019: Tan France has a memoir, Naturally Tan, Karamo Brown has a memoir/self-help book, Karamo: My Story of Embracing Purpose, Healing and Hope and Jonathan Van Ness’ memoir, Over the Top: A Raw Journey to Self-Love, comes out next week. I assume Bobby Berk is too busy working to write a book. The food guy on the show, Antoni Porowski, released a cookbook earlier this month called Antoni in the Kitchen. In addition to recipes, Antoni said he used the book as sort of his memoir, telling about his coming out story, how he reconnected with his Polish background, etc. The reason he chose this format isn’t just a gimmick, though. Antoni said that food is his Love Language and it’s how he communicates with those he encounters:

The part in which Antoni and Trevor Noah talk about food as his love language is right at the beginning, around the 00:40 mark:

On (Queer Eye) you connect people with their food. Something that has been a disconnect in America… where people go, ‘oh, it’s just food,’ and you go, ‘no, food is more special than we think it is.’ Why?

I think it’s so much more than that. I mean, it’s how you say, ‘I love you,’ it’s how you say, ‘I’m sorry.’ It connects you to your roots, where you came from. It’s how you meet new friends, like you came over. It’s the medium for me for everything. It’s my love language. It’s a messed up world, like, it’s a really messed up world and I think it’s an incredible opportunity to just connect with other people, and break bread and have conversations.

I haven’t read Antoni’s cookbook yet but based on this interview, I think I will. I agree that food and it’s preparation is one of the best ways to connect to learn about a culture. Antoni said later in the interview that although the book is not truly technical, he does discuss technique in the context of how and when he learned why food is prepared a certain way. The example he used was preparing risotto and that he just learned not to stir it vigorously but fold it so as not to break down the Arborio rice. I make risotto a lot and I never knew to fold it or why. And I wholeheartedly agree with conversations happening when you come together for a meal. The breakfast/dinner table is my mainline to my teenagers these days. I get what he’s saying about saying I love you with food. I make certain dishes when I want to send an emotional message. My love language is acts of service so for me, cooking falls in that category. I think most people who know me understand that.

Antoni and Trevor talk a lot about how personal the book is and the ways in which Antoni connects the stories to the food. It sounded reminiscent of the opening chapter to Anthony Bourdain’s Kitchen Confidential (which is memoir, not a cookbook). Bourdain’s description of how he came to love food hooked me from the start, I felt like I was with him on his journey throughout the book. Antoni’s discussion on his book also reminds me of one of the restaurants in which I waited tables. Each month, a different state was highlighted. At the start of the month, the chef would explain the four specials by how they connected to that state. The chef was a cranky, emotionally unpredictable artist, like most chefs, but I’ll never forget the month we highlighted Michigan, which is where he grew up. He gave this lovely, wistful recollection of fly fishing with his dad and described the sights, sounds and smells around him. He spoke about that being the time he and his dad truly opened up and got to know each other. I was so emotional by the end of his talk that I came back with my roommate after my shift to order the walleye – and I loathe eating fish of any kind. So if Antoni is looking to connect me to his recipes in that way, I’m here for it. I’m not a great cook, but I do love the connections food gives us.

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