Here is Paris Hilton’s cover for the January issue of Vanity Fair Spain. I don’t get it either. Why Paris? Why VF Spain? Why this cover image which looks like a turd wrapped in beige and dipped in imitation gold? Not that I feel like Paris deserves some incredible magazine styling, but even I could have done something better than this. The makeup is terrible, her hair looks like a stiff wig, and the color scheme is awful. And her dog is all “JESUS CHRIST I can’t believe this bitch is holding me.”

There’s a behind-the scenes video too. Blah.

Paris is just so thrilled that somebody is paying attention to her. It makes me kind of sad for her, and nostalgic for a different era in gossip. Paris’s time is over, and what has replaced her? The Kardashians, Teen Moms, Bachelorettes, the Gosselins and random people just famous for who they boned. Are we better off, post-Paris?

Here are some photos of Paris in Aspen, Colorado yesterday. No, I don’t get the outfit either. But much like those photos of Mariah Carey, I kind of have to give Paris credit for being covered up in bulky clothing. The coat is absolutely hideous, and I want to rip that little pink cap off her head, though.

Photos courtesy of VF Spain and Fame.