This stat makes me feel old, but Vanessa and Nick Lachey have been together for 16 years and married for 11 years. They have three kids – two boys and a girl – ages six, eight, and 10. Lately, Vanessa and Nick have been following the path that many early aughts celebrities seem to be taking: hosting reality TV shows. The Lacheys are the hosts of the Netflix reality series, Love is Blind and The Ultimatum: Marry or Move On. During a recent episode of The Ultimatum, Vanessa got emotional when talking about their experience in couples therapy and how it’s made her the “best” wife that she can be.

Vanessa Lachey is reflecting on what she overcame to become the “best” wife to husband Nick.

During the sixth episode of The Ultimatum: Marry or Move On season 2, the NCIS: Hawaiʻi star, 42, teared up as she described how therapy helped to move forward and built a strong bond with her husband and co-host Nick.

“Nick and I have been together for 16 years and we know each other — married for 11 — but it’s so funny that for some reason we don’t learn more about each other until we’re in, like, a therapy session,” she explained. “And the reason why I’m choking up is because I’ve had to get through so much s— to be the best woman for him.”

Vanessa shared that she was able to confide in her husband of 12 years about her concerns, telling the contestants, “Every single issue we had, every issue I brought up — to find that person, that I can trust and that can carry me through is what made us unstoppable.”

She added that it’s “so freeing to tell everything” to someone and still have them there to “pick you up.”

“It’s really beautiful,” she concluded. “And if they don’t, which I’ve had other guys who have done that — they’re not the guy I married.”

[From Yahoo]

So I’ve done both personal and couples therapy before, and we found that for us, individual therapy worked better because working on being healthier ourselves led to us being healthier together. I am happy that Vanessa found something that worked for her and got to a good place. It sounds like she had some deep personal issues that she had to address in order to be a better partner in general. I always appreciate when people share their journeys to help destigmatize issues or experiences.

I do have one tiny nitpick, though. A lot of us say, “I want to be a better partner/parent/etc” as motivation to get started, myself included. But at the end of the day, you have to work on yourself for you. You have to believe that you are worth being the best person you can be because you deserve it for yourself just as much as those who are your “why” do. It does fall into place a lot easier once you can accept that. Take it from me, I was raised in a conservative Catholic household. I’ve worked through some s— too.

Photos credit: Ilana Panich-Linsman/Netflix